A Birthday Surprise by apaidan

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 01/03/2011
Last Updated: 01/03/2011
Status: Completed

It's six years after the Final Battle and the last person he expects shows up at Harry
Potter's front door. Birthdays are times to make amends, or balance accounts




1. Unexpected Company
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A Birthday Surprise

A/N and disclaimer - The Harry Potter Universe is the property of JK Rowling and various
corporate entities and all recognizable elements thereof are their property. No copyright
infringement is intended. A final disclaimer follows the story.

This story occurs almost six years after the Final Battle and is most definitely not Epilogue
compliant. While mild to moderate Ron bashing occurs, no member of any endangered or allegedly
extinct species were harmed in the writing of the fanfiction.

------

Chapter One - Unexpected Company

*1 March* *2004 6:40 p.m. GMT* *near Otter Ferry, Scotland*

The early evening quiet was broken by a loud knocking at the door.

“Who on earth could that be?”

“I'll get it.”

Bounding down the stairs, Harry Potter frowned slightly as the knocking on the front door of
Peregrine House resumed. A bit more insistently than before, he shook his head in exasperation as
he tried to figure out exactly who it might be.

Most of their mutual friends who knew of the house they'd bought on the west coast of
Scotland were on the floo access list, though they'd set the floo tonight to restrict access to
a very select list since they'd planned on staying in for the evening. Checking to see that he
wasn't too inappropriately dressed, Harry frowned as he finished coming down the stairs

Arriving at the landing at the foot of the stairs, Harry jerked the door open just as the
knocking resumed for a third time. And stared.

Standing there, blinking in the twilight of the late winter evening was Ron Weasley. A bit
unsteady on his feet, his hand raised to knock again, he blinked at Harry several times with an
annoyed look on his face before he smiled.

“Took you bloody long enough.”

“Ron.”

Staring at him, trying to remember the last time they had spoken civilly to each other and
deciding that it was back in August, well before everything had gone pear-shaped, he smiled
thinly.

“I must say, this is quite a surprise.” Standing flat-footed, Harry looked distinctly ill at
ease.

“I'd ask you about being in the neighborhood, but since the nearest neighbors are muggles
and live about four miles away, I don't think that's it at all.” Watching the red-haired
wizard closely, Harry could see that he was a bit unsteady on his feet and looking more than a bit
uncomfortable himself.

“Aren't you going to invite me in?” Looking past Harry and into the house, Ron was peering
at what he could see of the house with marked interest.

“We were best mates for over twelve years. I'd hoped we could move past what happened after
almost six months.”

“She caught you in bed with a seventeen year-old cheerwitch for Ballycastle. In her flat. In her
bed. On her birthday, no less. I don't think that's something that just resolves itself
over time.”

Feeling a slight movement of the air behind him, as if something or someone had come down the
steps and then hearing the gentle rustle of fabric passing through the foyer, Harry smiled and
nodded.

“Since you went to all of the trouble to come up to the wilds of Scotland, I suppose I should
ask you in. If for no other reason than to hear you explain everything.”

“Thanks Harry, I knew I could count on you.” Shaking himself as he stepped through the door, Ron
looked around appreciatively. “How long have you had this place? Bit out of the way, isn't
it?”

Motioning towards the sitting room, Harry smiled a bit as he watched Ron look around.

“Since last fall, actually. I'd been thinking about finding a place to get away to for a
while, and I ended up seeing the place late one night last September. Decided on the spot that it
was just the place to get away to and get things together.”

Indicating the sofa, Harry waited until Ron seated himself before taking a seat on the arm of
the overstuffed chair that flanked the gleaming piano by the bay window overlooking the loch.

“Didn't know you played.” Peering at the instrument with a bit of interest, Ron vaguely
thought it looked familiar, but chalked that up to one muggle bit of furniture looking like the
next regardless of what his father said.

“I don't, a close friend does.” Seeing that Ron wasn't really interested in that, Harry
sighed.

“Not that I'm not surprised to see you, but exactly how did you manage to stumble across
this place?”

“Stopped by Grimmauld Place looking for you. Wanted to see if you wanted to go out for a bit of
something, see if we could scare up some company. Andromeda was leaving with Teddy when I came to
the door. She mentioned you were away; Loch Fyne is what she said.”

Looking smug, Ron smirked at the `just get on with it' look on Harry's face.

“I checked with one of the beaters from the team who was from Scotland, he said that there was a
floo connection in the pub down in the village, so I thought I'd pop up and rescue you from
boredom here on the arse end of nowhere. If that village were any further away, it'd be in
Ireland.” Shaking his head, he chuckled a bit, “Cost me almost ten galleons in drinks before I
could get anyone down there to give me directions to your place.”

“Wasn't bored in the least, but at least you thought of me.” Smiling, Harry chuckled a bit
at the look on Ron's face.

“Hey, we were friends for a long time, before all this nonsense with Herms started. I really
couldn't see letting her keep us apart, and I thought it would be a good chance for the two of
us to move on and see what we could get up to on my birthday.”

“Your birthday?” Looking just a bit surprised, Harry's eyes unfocused for a second as he
thought back. “So it is. Thought you'd be at The Burrow tonight if you were anywhere.” Pausing
for a second he added, “Outside a pub, of course.”

“That's another bloody thing she's effed up for me.” Scowling, Ron looked around the
room. Seeing a picture of Harry and Hermione sitting together under `their' tree at the edge of
Black Lake back at Hogwarts, he grimaced.

“Can you bloody believe that Ginny's still ranting about what happened when I broke up with
her? And Mum's even worse.”

“Ron, I dated your sister for two years, off and on. Knowing her as I do, I don't think it
at all strange to think she's still incensed you would treat her best friend so shabbily. And
Molly's always had a soft spot in her heart for Hermione.” Holding up his hand before the
ginger wizard could launch into a rationalization of what he did, Harry glared at him.

“And for the record, I seem to remember hearing that she most certainly dumped your arse, while
she was sending you and that witch running into the night with a quartet of eagle owls in hot
pursuit. Starkers.”

“Things were bad between us before that night, and you know it. She was totally impossible and
I'd had enough of it. She wasn't supposed to be home that night, so getting caught like
that wasn't even my fault. And you know I've never been able to remember her birthday, so
that wasn't my fault either.”

“Let me get this straight, you shagging some witch barely old enough to not be in school in her
bed was her fault?”

“Harry, you're not listening. My getting caught shagging that bit of fluff was Herms'
fault. We were supposed to be off looking at some house at the arse end of nowhere that night. I
begged off, and met Sal in the Leaky Cauldron. Took too long to take her back to my place in
Chudley…”

“Let me guess, that translates as you both were too pissed to disapparate and you'd
forgotten to leave the floo up when you left the house, so you decided to take her back to your
girlfriend's flat.”

“Exactly. You're catching on to this right quick Harry.” Smirking, Ron looked around the
room. “Something familiar about this place.”

“Ron, why did you track me down tonight?” Staring at his former best friend, Harry's
expression was unreadable.

“No need to be harsh. You know what she was like. We're both better off rid of her and you
know it.”

“Rid of her?” Staring at Ron in disbelief, Harry leaned back against the back of the chair.

“Yea. I know we haven't really had a chance to talk since before that night, and I
understand you needed some time to get things straightened out. But we've both moved on with
our lives and I think it's high time we start being mates again. It'll be like it was back
in school, minus the constant nagging about revising for class of course.”

“Ron, I have moved forward, but I'm not certain that you're ready to start things over.
I was best mate to both of you, remember?”

“Don't be ridiculous. We were friends before she came along. We'll be friends long after
she's gone on to make some other blokes miserable.” Seeing that Harry was about to answer, Ron
held up his hand.

“And she wasn't that broken up about me, regardless of what she tried to make people
think.”

“Oh really? You talked to her after that night?”

“Not bloody likely. I still remember those birds.” Shuddering a bit, Ron closed his eyes. “One
of the witches in her old office said that she took up with some wizard within days of what
happened.”

“What?” Staring at Ron in disbelief, Harry suppressed the urge to just hex him out of hand and
decided to hear him out.

“Hadn't heard that little gem, had you?” Looking smug, Ron continued. “You remember
Romilda?” Seeing Harry's baffled nod, he smirked.

“She's mates with one of the birds that work over at Centaur Relations. Romilda was saying
how her mate was going on about how her whole office was buzzing about it. Herms closed up her
Kensington flat and moved in with some bloke before the weekend. So much for being all broken up
over me.”

“She moved in with some bloke? She told you that?”

“She girlied it up, but that was the gist of it. Rescued by `Prince Charming' and all that
rot. Was nattering on about how this `Prince Charming' just took over and moved her into his
place. I didn't stick around long enough to hear the bloke's name, I was working on some
bird from the Canadian Embassy that was leaving, so I didn't hear her finish the story, but it
was pretty clear from what she was saying to Marietta that she didn't waste any time moving
on.”

Leaning back and staring in disbelief, Harry's eyes were twinkling as he watched Ron for
almost a minute. Ticking his head a bit to the side, as if he was listening to something, he
started to smirk and then shook his head.

“Let me see if I understand this. The sum total of your knowledge of how your former girlfriend,
former best mate, former lover is doing is some third-hand gossip between a couple of witches that
probably didn't even realize you were eavesdropping on them.

“And based upon that in-depth research, you've come to the remarkably astute conclusion that
Hermione just took up with some nameless bloke within days of catching you in bed with another
witch?”

“I never understood why Ginny always said you were clueless about relationship stuff; you're
catching on right quick. She was probably planning on tossing me over for this other guy but
couldn't get the nerve up so she used the excuse that I was cheating on her to do it.”

“You were cheating on her. That witch certainly wasn't the first, and you know it. She was
tired of waiting for you to grow up and stop chasing every skirt that would give you the time of
day.”

“You have no clue what being with her was like. If you did you'd understand the why of it.”
Shaking his head, Ron missed the look that Harry flashed him. If he had seen it, he certainly
wouldn't have continued.

“Back when you and my sister were having problems, things were bad between us. She was
impossible to please, so naturally I was a bit appreciative from time to time of when a witch
realized I wasn't as thick as Herms constantly made me out to be.

“And your girlfriend wasn't any help. She couldn't keep things on track with you, and
Hermione would feel compelled to jump into it. Here she was, supposed to be Gin's friend and
she kept taking your side in things. I had to take Gin's side because Gin's family, but I
knew how impossible she was. Remember that night in Oslo?”

“The night before your exhibition game with the Norwegian national team?” Seeing Ron's nod,
Harry's eyes narrowed. “That was the night you were so nervous about the game, your first
chance to start for the Cannons.”

“Yea, couldn't really get my head around the fact I was finally going to get a start. I was
trying to tell you that night that you needed to find someone out of the spotlight if you wanted to
get back with Gin. Things have changed just a bit since that night, but I still think the two of
you could make a go of things. That'd get me off the hook with her.”

“All right, I'm totally lost. You think I should start seeing some witch on the side so I
can get back together with your sister so she won't be mad at you for messing Hermione
over?”

“I wouldn't put it like that, but you've got the basics.”

“And that's why you came up here tonight? “

“Thought we'd go out, celebrate a bit for my birthday. Find a couple of suitable birds and
then I'd broach the whole Ginny thing tomorrow morning over breakfast after the birds were
gone.”

“Didn't I read where you were seeing that singer from Vannin? The one *Witch Weekly*
got those photos of you two on that beach?”

“She's over in America. Some sort of tour. Getting way too clingy. Spent the whole week
before she left nattering about coming on tour with her. Stopping by Peel to meet her folks.
Nonsense like that.” Chuckling at the look on Harry's face, he shrugged.

“Getting almost as bad as Herms was, most likely going to have to think about moving on after
she gets back.”

“So you're asking me along to do some shopping for your next girlfriend?”

“Nah, think I've got a handle on that. This is just a bit of fun and fluff. From what I can
tell, you haven't been out in months, figured it'd be a good way for us to start back in.
We've certainly come a long way from that Yule Ball.”

“What happened?” Seeing the look on Ron's face, Harry tried to smile, but found he
couldn't.

“That night, you were going mental because Hermione went to the ball with Krum. I thought you
cared about the girl, that she was the one for you. Now…” Trailing off, Harry just shook his head
at the confused look on Ron's face.

“What's the use?”

“She shouldn't have gone with him. If she was desperate to go, she should have talked to one
of us, we could have found her someone.”

“Ron, if you'll remember we were the desperate ones. She had a date, Viktor Krum no less. We
were still messing around trying to find a couple of witches who felt sorry enough for us to go. I
still can't believe we treated the Patils that shabbily. I'm surprised either one ever
spoke to us the rest of the year.”

“Always curious about that. You seemed really keen on going with Parv, what happened that
night?”

Blushing, Harry ducked his head for a second, thinking. He finally looked back up, with a goofy
lopsided grin.

“Hermione happened, Ron. She walked up down there outside the Great Hall and I couldn't
believe it. Couldn't believe I'd been that much of an idiot and not found my Gryffindor
courage and asked her. After seeing her, I sort of was off track for the rest of the night. I
apologized to Parv a couple of years ago, right before she and Dean got married.”

“You fancied Hermione?”

“Of course. Didn't really realize it at the time, until that night, but yea I did. I thought
you fancied her from the way you were acting, so I never said anything.”

“Then what was that all about that night when we found the sword? I could have sworn the two of
you were going at it behind my back before I left, didn't have much doubt about it while I was
gone, but you said you didn't fancy her.”

“You'd just showed up out of the blue, I was desperate trying to think of something that
wouldn't set you off again. Think about what I said that night, Ron.” Seeing the blank look on
his face, Harry sighed. “I never had a sister you idiot.”

“No need to get testy about that. I'll gladly give you mine if that'll get her off my
back.” Shaking his head, Ron watched Harry. “So you and Herms never…”

“She was always trying to make things work with you, and I didn't want to come between the
two of you. If you'll remember, I'm the one she'd come to when she was crying about
whatever it was you'd done. Kind of difficult to tell a witch you fancy her when she's
crying her eyes out about how much of a tosser your mutual best mate was.” Shaking his head, he
sighed.

“We wasted ten years because she thought the two of you could work things out and I thought
you'd finally grow up enough to make her happy.”

“Wasted?”

The rest of Ron's question was lost when there was a rustling of fabric, and Hermione
appeared in the chair behind Harry, Harry's cloak lying across the back of the chair in a pile
of silver fabric.

“Yes Ronald. Wasted. As in I spent ten years thinking Harry couldn't possibly fancy me and
that you actually cared about me. As in Harry spent ten years not saying anything and dating other
people, including your sister, because he was certain I couldn't possibly fancy him. As in I
spent almost a decade letting you treat me like shite because I thought you'd finally grow up
someday.”

“Herms? Harry?” Speechless, Ron kept staring at first one and then the other. Whether seeing her
for the first time in six months, the fact she was in Harry's house at all, or the fact she was
apparently dressed only in one of Harry's old Gryffindor quidditch jerseys and leaning
possessively on him would have left him speechless was hard to say, but the combination of all
three definitely did a number on him.

“For the record, I didn't `take up' with some bloke the minute your back was turned.
Harry tracked me down that night and brought me back home to Grimmauld Place because I was totally
incapable of coping after what had happened.

“He took care of closing out my flat in London because I had no desire to ever step foot in that
place again. He was my friend when I desperately needed one.”

“I can see that.” Looking disgusted, Ron glared at Harry. “And here I thought we were friends.
Did you even wait for me to be out of sight before the two of you started?”

“Ron, she disapparated out of her flat in a sheer panic. The only good thing you did that night
was let you sister know that Hermione was `a bit upset' with you. She came over to the flat and
called me, the place looked like a cyclone had hit it. It took me four tries for Prongs to track
her down, and I found her sitting out in the garden behind this house, crying her eyes out over
you.”

“This was the place you wanted us to buy? And you're shacked up with Harry here?”

“Ron, this was the house I was looking at that night, but I realized you'd never go for it,
which is why I cut the tour short and came home to spend the rest of my birthday with my boyfriend.
Imagine my surprise when I find Crookshanks locked out of the flat and you in the bedroom shagging
some witch who should have been studying for her NEWTS.”

“And you totally overreacted like always.”

Glaring defiantly at the two, Ron jumped up and began pacing back and forth.

“That was just part of how you always jumped to conclusions that I wasn't good enough for
you. You never thought I was good enough for you, your father didn't, and your mother certainly
didn't. Every time I went to the house it was `Harry this' and `Harry that'.” Whirling
around, he turned and faced the two.

“And then, the moment my back was turned, you're shagging the `Boy Who Lived'. Do you
have anything to say for yourself?”

Silence reigned for almost a minute. Harry and Hermione looked at each other and she quirked an
eyebrow at him. Seeing Harry's slight nod, she turned back to Ron.

“Do I have anything to say for myself,” she asked in a dangerously calm voice.

“Yea, I'd really like to hear you explain yourself, half-dressed and hanging all over Harry
like that. You two are unbelievable.”

Moving her hand in a circle, a small box wrapped in black and silver foil appeared in her hand.
Hefting it a couple of times, she smiled and tossed it towards him.

“Happy Birthday Ronald.”

Gobsmacked, Ron caught the box without thinking. Which he knew to be a mistake when the package
flashed a blue-green light and that hook through the navel feeling let him know he was going
somewhere via portkey.

The sitting room disappeared in s swirl of lights and he found himself falling into a small
decorative pond behind the house. Stark naked.

Struggling to stand up in the shallow water with its muddy bottom, he fell a couple of times
before he reached the edge and was standing there, dripping wet.

Hearing laughter, he looked up to see Harry and Hermione standing in the back door of the
cottage. Harry trying not to laugh and Hermione not having the decency to keep from laughing.

“That's just great. We were best mates for years and this is what I get?”

“Ron, no it's not.” Shaking her head, Hermione held up her hand and her wand appeared.

“That was just to get you out of our house. This is your birthday present.”

Pointing her wand at him, she made a peculiar circular motion with it and intoned, “*Avis
cygnus falconeri!*”

A large silver cloud appeared between the pair and Ron. Suddenly a loud hissing was heard as a
swan charged out of the cloud. A bloody gigantic swan. With a wingspan of almost ten feet and
it's head over six feet above the ground, the enraged bird began charging at the red-haired
wizard, hissing and creating a horrendous racket as it flapped its massive wings.

Taking one look at the massive avian, Ron turned and began running in the opposite direction,
back towards the village stark naked. Screaming incoherently he disappeared into the gathering
twilight of the Scottish night.

“Even if she catches him, she'll be popping back to the preserve on Malta in five or six
minutes so she's unlikely to do him any permanent harm.”

Taking Harry by the arm, she rose up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek.

“I'm not even going to ask.” Rolling his eyes, Harry smirked at the screams that were fading
into the twilight.

“Giant swan, they're supposed to be extinct, but the wizarding culture on the Maltese
islands have kept them and a couple of other unique species alive and out of sight.”

“And it won't hurt him?”

“She Harry. I never said she wouldn't hurt him, I said she probably wouldn't have a
chance to do him any permanent harm. Swans are herbivores, you know. She won't eat him if
that's what you're worried about.”

Taking Harry's arm, she steered him back into the house, gently shutting the door behind her
with a wave of her wand.

“His real present is going to be when he runs screaming into the common room of the Silver
Athame down in the village.”

“They know he was coming up here to see us, doesn't this guarantee we'll be disturbed
again?”

Kissing her on her forehead, Harry started chuckling at the look in her eyes. “What?”

“Caitlan knows we're celebrating tonight. If she doesn't let him borrow a cloak and use
the floo to leave, they'll put him up in a room until tomorrow. We've been interrupted
enough for one night. I believe we were about to celebrate our four month anniversary before we
were so rudely interrupted.”

Wrapping his arms around Hermione, Harry began kissing her. Putting her arms around his neck,
she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist.

When they finally broke the kiss, she whispered breathily in his ear. “Harry, take me upstairs.
Now.”

“Bossy little know-it-all.” Smirking, Harry began walking towards the stairs. “Remind me again
why you didn't just do this back when we were in school.”

“Hush you. All that matters is that you're mine to boss around now.”

“We'll see.” As they climbed the stairs, Harry stopped for a second.

“Did you learn that trick on your trip to Malta last spring?”

Eyes twinkling, she smirked and then teased his ear with her teeth.

“Kingsley sent me down there to assist with finding that raptor that had gone missing. Took me a
couple of days to track down the smuggler that had the bird. The director of the wildlife sanctuary
was so grateful that she showed me a variation on my trusty bird spell for when I needed a bit more
authority. I modified the spell fabric a bit so the birds are returned to their sanctuary after a
short bit of time. Why?”

Shaking his head, he whispered in her ear as they finished climbing the stairs and headed for
their bedroom, “Always knew finding the Maltese Falcon would payoff in the end.”

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A/N Two - The Maltese Falcon is the property of Dashiell Hammett and, the movies, one of the
same corporate entities referenced above.

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